Stop 2 of 4 countries, Siem Reap, Cambodia! I only planned 3ish days for this stop to visit the amazing temple of Angkor Wat and the surrounding ones nearby! I could have used a few more days because I discovered there was a unique floating village that is said to be a place one should visit.
Met another cool Californian chick on my layover in Bangkok. We hung out for a few hours, chatted, ate delicious food and then parted ways as she headed to the Philippines. On my flight to Cambodia, I sat next to a Brazilian, Caroline, who is currently on a year-long trip of dope freshness and epicness! We exchange Facebook info with plans to explore Angkor Wat together!
Apparently, they use US dollars in Cambodia for all bills and Cambodian Riel for small-coin shit. So I exchanged zero dollars at the airport. When I entered immigration, it cost me 2 bucks for the “visa photo,” which was just a scan of my passport… lame-ass rip-off. I need to carry some passport photos…totally forgot to bring any.
I landed at 9 pm and the weather was perfect…Prolly 70F with a cool breeze. The tuk-tuks in Cambodia are luxurious and super comfy! They are pulled behind motorcycles instead of the motorcycle being built into the tuk-tuk. You can fit twice as many people in the Cambodian tuk-tuks as in the Thai ones. This was the first airport transport that I thoroughly enjoyed. ‘Twas super relaxing. I felt like a queen being delivered to my palace… but only cost me $5. Lol. How many times can I say tuk-tuk in a paragraph? Lol. Their speed bumps are monstrosities! Like a foot tall and bounced me out of my seat. Weee! Can I take your tuk-tuk to Malaysia? Thanks.
Woke up and worked for 4 hours cuz my WIFI was on point and I needed to make up for the past few days of slacking. Our Angkor Wat tour wasn’t until 12:30 pm so I had some time to chillax. Went to a cafe down the street that had good reviews. Ordered a strawberry shake and got strawberry-flavored Nesquik blended with ice. WTF…that is not a strawberry milkshake! There was no milk…it was kinda gross.
For the main part of my meal, I got beef and garlic with rice. That was pretty good so I’ll let the shitty milkshake slide. I think imma take a Pepto just in case cuz a cafe down the street had reviews that said they were getting shitz for days. Lol. I asked for my check and gave them a crispy $20. The meal cost $4.75. They gave me $15 USD and 1,000 Riel, which is a hair under $.25. I’m about to leave and the old lady comes back with a crusty $20, trying to pawn it off like it was mine. Really…I shipped that bill from the US with squiggly foreign Asian writing on it? Paleeeze! Apparently, if a US bill has writing or a tear, no one will accept it. She thought I looked dumb enough to pawn it off on. The blond hair is fake! I’m really a part-time genius. Caroline also had the same issue with someone trying to give her change with shitty bills…lame. Fucking going to have to be on my toes here. Not digging the dishonest vibes.
To add more specialness, Caroline showed me an article about taxi drivers…if you haggle too much they may drive you to a certain location and you get mugged. That’s made me super paranoid and now I’m fucking Fort Knox-ing my shit up! Luckily, I have a Pacsafe Backpack that gives me extra peace of mind when traveling, thanks to its anti-theft features. It got eXomesh that’s slash resistant, the straps have wire woven into them so that someone with a knife can’t cut my strap, and the zippers all have locking jazz! Yaasss…take that, shady bitches!
The tuk-tuk arrived. Caroline and Katja, who also joined the Angkor Wat tour, were chilling in the tuk-tuk. We did the Grand Tour the first day. The temples were beautiful. I took an assload of photos. After the first few temples, they started to all look the same. But there were a few unique ones that I got some awesome photos of…
The Angkor Wat temple was definitely my favorite one on the first day. We chilled out where there weren’t many people and were able to get some dope fresh sunset photos. I whipped out the Motorized Panning Timelapse device for the sunset! Most of the people were trying to get to the top temple in the center for a view of the sunset and the line for that was miles long. Pass.
When we finished our tour, we sat down and our tour guide brought us beer. But I’m not a beer person so he brought us some sugarcane drinks. They were pretty tasty. He also gave us a sugarcane to gnaw on like a monkey for shits ‘n’ giggles. On the way back we saw a bunch of monkeys and stopped to feed them. I videoed them…hopefully the footage turned out good cuz there were some cute babies!
Our feet and backs were killing us so we headed to a massage place to get bent and molded into sexy beasts! Haha. They asked how old we are and then said they thought I was 23. Thanks, but it’s lies. I see what you are doing…flattery for tips. I’m not buying it. Haha
We then ate some ok food. I felt a stabbing sensation in my side. Rode home in a tuk-tuk and it was miserable as fuck. Every bump stabbed me. I haven’t shit for days…I think my shit is getting revenge.
Day two of temple exploring… I got picked up with just Caroline today and we did the Small Tour. We were too lazy to do the sunrise tour cuz, um…4 am! Meh…sleep! Someday I may go back when I’m old and naturally wake up at ungodly hours to get that fresh sunrise photo.
There was a dope bridge that we passed over, with a ton of sculptures lining it. At the end of the bridge was the entrance gate to all the temples and kinda a mini temple in itself.
Warning: The following is a bunch of bitching and moaning about a certain cultural group who have demonstrated special abilities to annoy us. The Chinese! OMG…they were so irritating and have completely overrun the temples with their obsessive behavior for photos, selfie sticks, and general rude/odd behavior. Apparently, it’s Chinese New Year. Fuck. Soo excited for getting my bubble invaded and sandwiched between hordes of humans who don’t know what a bubble is. And I have a huge gawddamn bubble. The whole day I’m hearing them say the same word over and over…neega neega. Every time I hear it I’m like,“What the fuck?” and wanna smack them. After some googling, I discovered that it means “that/that one/this/this one.”
I am NOT overreacting about how inappropriate and absurd the Chinese are as tourists. Apparently, the Chinese government published a guide called “The Guide to Civilized Tourism and Travel” in an effort to avoid embarrassment. Lol. There are a bunch of illustrations in it with captions like “Don’t spit phlegm or gum, throw litter, urinate or defecate wherever you feel like it.” OMG, they don’t know to not shit in public? WTF?! And, “Don’t leave footprints on the toilet seat.” Now I know what those illustrations in US bathrooms are for…ya know…the ones where there is someone squatting with their feet on the seat and X through the illustration. Then another illustration on how to actually use a Western toilet?! The world now makes a lot more sense!
I’m not sure why they are beyond obsessed with getting photos at the inconvenience of everyone. Yes, please walk in front of me and stop immediately so that I run into you and now you are blocking traffic. Love that. Keep it up. Oh, and my personal favorite, I’m obviously lining up a shot and they step in front of me to take a photo…not like 10 feet away…like 2 gawddamn feet. Wtf?! Did they invent the selfie stick cuz I’ve seen more gawddamn selfie sticks and fake lame poses today than I ever have before in my life. They love to do these unnatural poses to look like a princess or try to look like a model looking off into the distance. Fuck the duck lips. You look like a troll. Ass out, chin up, peace sign. Fuck that too. Looking off into the distance like you are having a pensive moment…looks soo natural, you should be on the cover of Vogue magazine. I bet the Facebook trolls will give you soo many likes for that shit cuz they feel bad for you. The Chinese literally live in their own world and I will never understand it. But I still want to see their big-ass fucking wall. It will happen…someday.
Anywho…we went back to Angkor Wat a second time for some more photos cuz why not. We didn’t see the main center temple with steep-ass steps to the top with a view yesterday cuz that line was insane. So, we went there. And it wasn’t much better today. While we were waiting in line to go to the top we were sandwiched between a pile of Chinese peeps who don’t have volume control, super impatient and didn’t know what a “mutha fuckin’ bubble” was! At one point there was a 3 foot space in front of us and they poked Caroline in the back cuz they wanted her/us to move forward. Why? We aren’t going to get there any faster by filling in the 3 foot gap. It’s hot as fuck. Chillax bro-ster, we would prefer not to feel the heat radiating off the human in front of us as well as your hot breath on our necks. Thanks. Well, the view from the top was awesome sauce!
Don’t faceplant. These #stairs are steeper then they look. Some people were terrified and trembling while descending them. I no understandy. Anything for dem selfies posing like a princess or looking off in the distance like your a model who is deep in thought. Models have thoughts? 😂 #selfie #angkorwat #stairs #demviews
We saw some mangroves engulfing temples and walls and all sorts of structures. It was fascinating seeing these trees give zero fucks, like, imma grow here over this tree, oh, you have a building here? No problem, fuck that too. The most impressive one was Ta Prohm. Tomb raider was shot there. We tried finding one of the scenes in the movie but couldn’t find it. Eh, I saw like ten temples… I’m good. Feet hurt like a mofo.
Random thought of the day…if Cambodia’s language (Khmer) was a sport, it would be ping pong. Cuz every time they speak it sounds like a ping pong match. 😂
In the evening I hung out with Katja and Caroline. We went for another massage, ate some street food and chilled on the rooftop of their hostel. I wanted to get what they called fried ice cream. There was zero frying happening…it was just freezing. Typo? The girl at the stand trying to sell the ice cream to us was a harsh humorless troll and was kinda yelling at us and everyone else that looked slightly interested in ice cream. “Wad u waaa, LADEEEEE?!” I feel like translating this into Valley girl English for y’all to really understand the bitchiness that she emoted. “Um, like, seriously ORDER NOW, cuz, like, I, um, want your money and I, like, don’t care about your jokes or you. And I’m, like, better than you.”
Finished my last day in Cambodia donating my tasty blood to the mosquitoes.