Stop 4 of 4 countries, Singapore, Singapore!
Then I went to the space museum, which had tons of replicas and artifacts of uhh… space shit, duh! I got caught in a tourist trap. They had this G-Force machine and were like, come try it out, only for $6. I’m like, ok fine. I hate shit that spins around in circles cuz it just makes me nauseous. They had this giant screen like 2 feet from your face simulating what it would look like if you were looking out of a spaceship rocketing into space. I couldn’t look at it cuz it made me wanna puke up my delicious chicken leg and fruit tart. It’s like trying to play a game on your phone while riding in the back of a bus. *puke*. The damn thing wasn’t fast at all but made me puke-a-licious. Totally not worth the $6. It was slower than a turtle coaster but just spun in a damn circle. If we went in a straight gawd damn line I’d feel fine, but bored.
I grab my tickets and see a bench/wooden sculpture thinger to set my shit down on for a sec. While I’m trying to shove my shit into my wallet this old Chinese lady sits down and starts her series of awkward poses for her photo shoot. She had the patience of a 3 year old and looks over to me and yells, Go! I was in the way of her photoshoot. I’m about to punch me an old lady. Not acceptable behavior, ya old fart! I refrained from using both middle fingers…this time.
Then I almost got bitch slapped by a fucking selfie stick that was swinging around. It’s fucking selfie-mania up in here. Gawd damn, does it ever stop! Just fucking look at the flowers, you don’t need another Facebook profile pic. I don’t know if I’m moody or if I’m just getting sick of people and their obsessive need for selfies. The gawd damn duck lip pose with the ass out needs to stop. Y’all just look a few chromosomes short. My favorite is when someone spends ten minutes in a high traffic location to get that perfect selfie at 100 different angles and inconveniences everyone else. Oh, and blocking the entrance to an exhibit is super special. You don’t look like that in real life. Wtf. I hate when couples or families walk together and take up the whole path like they own it and won’t budge to let anyone pass. I hope you faceplant.
My GoPro Karma Grip got some dope footage of the whole place!
I snapped some photos ‘n’ videos and continued wandering to the lil bay with boats tugging around tourists. In the courtyard with about 50 women in Muslim hijab’s eating McDonald’s ice cream cones. Somehow all of them were eating them at once! Whoever made the cones was wicked fast!